Monday, December 16, 2019

Right now I am...

... so, so cold
... wearing two sweaters and two pairs of socks
... considering adding another layer
... drinking hot tea
... wondering when the day will start (it's nine-thirty, but still so dark)
... knowing this is pretty much it, it won't get lighter
... feeling weird because I'm not used to this anymore after only one year
... tired of a week of driving around visiting our girls and my parents
... but very happy to have seen them all (twice already)
... also tired of yesterday's birthday (our youngest girl turned 27!). Her tiny living room was packed with people, but it was fun.
... trying not to think about how my parents are doing too much (they just keep going, but I know they are both running on reserves)
... looking forward to spending more time with them, because... well, this might be the last time I can
... also trying to ignore T.'s coughing (and his not so healthy-sounding breathing). At least now I'm really sure that for his health it was the right decision to move to CuraƧao.
... remembering the really wonderful afternoon I spent with an old friend. A few years ago she lost both her parents in a very short time under similar conditions as mine are in (dad chronically ill, mom losing the fight with cancer). She also lost her husband last year and I felt really sorry for her. I was actually geared up to comfort her but instead, she managed to comfort me. She inspired me to get a grip on the things that will happen inevitably, both with my parents and T.
...  trying to come up with a plan for the day. I know there is some work I need to do, but I can't remember what
... considering to take it easy and curl up with a book, some knitting, and more hot tea
... wishing you all a great week


  1. wow, you sound busy! I hope the cough stays mild until you return home. Isn't it nice to know you made the right moving decision?? Hopefully your children will come and visit you the next time :)

    1. Yes, it is busy... but mostly fun. And it is great to know it was the right decision. Eases the guilt ;-)

  2. Prayer's that T's cough does not progress and that you find moments of ease in all the hustle.

  3. bittersweet. life is so full of beautiful and hard all intertwined.

    1. Yes, bittersweet, that's exactly what it is!