Friday, May 10, 2013

The ride

Yep, I did it. I split the blog. I really tried to stick with it, but that bilingual thing was not working for me at all. I seem to have a split personality, blogging in English is definitely different for me than blogging in Dutch. I felt limited in my choice of subjects to post about (since my Dutch blog is associated with me being a writer) and the layout, having to put pictures between the two languages instead of where ever I wanted them, didn't work for me either. Anyway, I finally picked up the pieces, found myself a new blog name and went for it. Don't worry, nothing got lost, I copied the bilingual posts and the comments and cut off the Dutch part. I'm also trying to recover some of my older posts on deleted English blogs, but that will take some time. For now I'm just glad to be here.

Lately I have been thinking about progress and result a lot. I seem to be stuck in deadlines and goals.

Of course deadlines come with the territory when you're a published author, but where's the fun when the only thing you can think about is when the story needs to be finished? I used to be eager to reconnect with my characters when I started up my laptop in the morning, but now the only thing I can think about now is finishing it on time. Not a good thing and seriously causing writer's block.
And when I finally finish one book, there's always another waiting to be written finished.

I'm currently knitting through my stash, promising myself a bit of yarn shopping when the last scraps are gone. Should be fun. But I find myself trying to get it done before a set date. That date keeps changing, since I just don't have that much time to knit anymore. Or maybe I don't make that much time anymore, since having a deadline takes all the fun out of it. Wasn't knitting supposed to be fun? And what will happen when I buy new yarn? Will it be all about finishing the new stash too? I guess it will.

I set dates for lots of things. Cleaning the house, get the garden back into shape, paint, reorganize. It's all about the result, so the process is wearing me out. Often the result - if when I finally reach my goals - is less than satisfying and when it is, it's not for very long. You know, because a house that's lived in doesn't stay clean and weeds keep growing. The list of things to be done or redone is endless and it's always in the back of my mind.

I don't want to spent my life trying to catch up with my ever changing goals.
So, I'm going to stop deadlining myself (I know that's not a verb, but I like the sound of it) and I'm trying to get serious about enjoying the ride. Hence the name of this blog.

p.s. one of the things that inspired me to think this through is this post 


  1. well, hello over here. :)

    i like the idea to "stop deadlining myself" - that's very descriptive . . .

    i have decided that the only things i'm allowed to write on lists for myself are things that will be a HUGE problem if they don't get done. otherwise, i used to write all these lists and then feel like a failure when i could hardly cross anything off.

    i went and read your inspiration post . . . and these are things that i'm trying to learn, too. to stop and enjoy my home (right where it's at - no closet doors, no finished ceiling in two of the closets or the main room downstairs, etc) and to enjoy my kids and to entertain in my house our way. clean, but not perfect. lived in.

    i'm learning, too. :)

    1. yes, that's a good thing, writing down only the things you really have to do. I used to make long and detailed lists that made me feel like a failure too. I stopped writing lists completely, but recently forgot something very important. Writing it down could have saved us a lot of money... So I'm trying to find balance. ;-)
      Yes, that post is a good one, isn't it? It was a real eyeopener for me, especially since I was constantly comparing our home to what I saw of theirs on their blog. But don't we all show just part of it on our blogs? Funny that you have unfinished ceilings too (we have no ceiling in the little hallway at the back of the house)

  2. i am so guilty of deadlining myself. lately i've to be gentle with myself. i have a small list of things that i should do by oct but otherwise, i am really trying to take it easy and enjoy.

    1. Being gentle with ourselves, yes! That's what we should do. Why is that so hard?