1-31-2012

31/366


Right now I am...


:: enjoying lots of sunshine (through the windows, cause it's really, really cold today)


:: looking back at one month of daily photographs and only two of them that I really don't like


:: happy because one of my photographs was featured on shuttersisters 365


:: trying to get myself to do some housework now


:: quite sucked into the story I'm writing at this moment. Which is great since I already sold it (the new writing gig). I've set myself a deadline for halfway March, but at this rate I may even finish it this week...


:: going to do some vacuuming before I allow myself to get back to that story



1-30-2012

28/366


29/366


30/366


Right now I am...


:: cold. Winter finally began here. It's even snowing (a little bit).


:: tired and busy. So, nothing new ;-)



1-27-2012

27/366


Right now I am...


:: giggling because I always manage to plan a very busy workday when all the other family members are "sort of taking the day off". Oh well.


:: still getting some work done


:: wondering how much I'll share here about my new writing gig. I have one. That's probably all you need to know (it's in Dutch)



1-26-2012

26/366


Right now I am...


:: laughing at myself because of today's picture. This morning I wondered if maybe I'd challenge myself next month and try to take pictures inside for a while. But I thought "nah, not yet, I'm to busy to start new things and I like to go outside to find me something beautiful".


But today is so dark, cold and rainy that none of the things I tried outside came out right. So here I am, taking pictures inside. Maybe this will be a way to reconnect to my home a bit.



1-25-2012

25/366


Right now I am...


:: looking at my handwriting (notes for my new book are next to me, but words aren't flowing yet)


:: wondering why I always slip from 'nice' to 'almost unreadable' (hmn, maybe because I do and have always done most of my writing on the computer)


:: smelling the wonderful scent of draadjesvlees cooking (actually I think it's the spices I smell, but it is delicious anyway)


:: glad that I finally remembered that I wanted to make this (I usually remember an hour before dinertime, that's way too late for draadjesvlees)



1-24-2012

24/366


23/366


22/366


21/366


Right now I am...


:: smiling at the difference between these four pictures


:: thinking they match the days they were taken on quit nicely (today is the first, Saturday is the bottom one). Yesterday was indeed blurry.



1-20-2012

20/366


19/366


Right now I am...


:: content that I stood up for myself (that major disappointment? it's not anymore)


:: excited for new plans that are starting to work out


:: tired because I was a model for my girl again, two days straight in a row and one more tomorrow


:: happy that then she's almost through catching up the three months she missed because she had an injury on her right hand


:: trying to make myself shut down the computer and leave it down for the weekend



1-18-2012

18/366


Right now I am...


:: listening to a cat declaring that he want his dinner this minute


:: telling him that he's two hours early (and he started this an hour ago!)


:: thinking that he maybe confused because today is a dark, dark day


:: trying no to remember that he could also be hungry because two hours ago he emptied his stomach on the couch, the table and the floor..


:: feeling the darkness of this day inside my head


:: trying to find some sunshine in doing the things I love (taking pictures in the rain... something like that)



1-17-2012

17/366


Right now I am...


:: thinking that indeed my word for 2012 should be 'confidence'


:: knowing that's what I lack the most these days


:: working on it, really


:: kicking myself to get back to work, finish that novel* and start those new projects (I'm battling doubt crows)


:: reminding myself of the song that this blog was named after. I choose that name a few years ago because that was how I felt. I will feel like that again.


 *Edited to add: finished! Printed to let my proofreaders (the girls) have a final check and then off to my publisher it goes!



1-16-2012

14/366


15/366


16/366


Right now I am...


:: tired because I did a lot of (house) work today


:: frustrated because that didn't leave me any time to write (I have a novel to finish and some new work to prepare)


:: worried that I will always have to choose between the two


:: thinking that it might be a good idea to go back to a routine with complete days cut out for writing or housework


:: smiling because I know routines just don't work in this house


:: working on fully accepting that



1-13-2012

13/366


Right now I am


:: so happy that we have a bit of sunshine to enjoy today


:: feeling my energy returning


:: happy that I finally got around to some much needed cleaning


:: wishing you all a wonderful weekend!



1-12-2012

12/366


Right now I am...


:: smiling because this morning I first was a Japanese Blossom Fairy and then I broke my nose (not really)


:: thinking I need to explain now that I was a model for my girl who is training to be an allround make-up artist (in that beautiful "Amsterdamse school" building)


:: so proud of what she has accomplished so far (working here and doing internships here and here)



1-11-2012

11/366


Right now I am...


:: grateful for this beautiful sunrise that started my day


:: trying to get my act together and cross some things off my todo list



1-10-2012

10/366


Right now I am...


:: focusing on happy little things (see that curly bit? I like it)


:: trying to handle a major disappointment


:: making new plans already



1-9-2012

9/366


Right now I am...


:: wondering where the day went


:: worrying about all the things I was supposed to do today (but didn't do)


:: reminding myself that writing sometimes is indeed a full time job


:: knowing that tomorrow will be another day


:: smiling at the birdhouse that one of the girls made at school eight years ago. It's still going strong and heavily in use each spring



1-8-2012

8/366

Right now I am...


:: tired because I didn't sleep much last night


:: rewriting my fifth (to be published - it's actually my eighth) novel


:: understanding, finally, where I want that story to go


:: enjoying the process



1-7-2012

7/366 (3)


7/366 (2)


7/366


Right now I am...


:: bending the rules of my picture-a-day project a bit


:: unable to decide which picture I like best


:: thinking I like them all in a different way


:: loving this heather. It reminds me of my childhood (we had a lot of it in our garden and we used to go for walks here on Sundays)



1-6-2012

6/366

Right now I am...


:: smiling because I love this cat (we all do)


:: remembering fondly how he chose me as his new owner when I visited the shelter to find us a new cat


:: giggling at his funny habits (sitting on his tail)


:: hoping he will stay with us a little while longer (we don't know his age, but he was 10+ when we got him 4 years ago. He really is looking old lately, but he's still happy, friendly and active - when he's awake)



1-5-2012

5/366

Right now I am...


:: worried about the people threatened by this storm


we learned that luckily my aunt and uncle are close to, but not in the polder where a dike is breaking - the storm surge barrier that will protect our part of the country is closed already - the region where my parents and brother live (that was flooded in 1953) is safe for now.


:: listening to the wind around our house (I can't find the words to decribe the sound of it, it's not howling, it's more like bumping or banging)


:: smiling because I did take a few minutes to get out of my car to feel and really mindfully notice the power of that storm. It's both scary and beautiful.



1-4-2012

4/366
Right now I am...


:: still recovering from the flu


:: not able to do all the things on my list as quickly as I wanted to


:: actually enjoying this slower pace 


:: noticing things get done better in the end


:: thinking that this might be a lesson for me to learn this year: slow down!



1-3-2012

3/366

Right now I am...


:: listening to the storm raging outside


:: so glad we installed double glazing and a new roof


:: taking down Christmas decorations


:: thinking about keeping that wreath for a while (that's the backside, the front is decorated with clippings from the garden)



1-2-2012

2/366

Right now I am...


:: saying goodbye to this beautiful flower, since my family is suffering hay-feverish symptoms on top of their flu


:: still glad that I bought it. It was fun watching it grow over the last month




1-1-2012

1/366

Right now I am...


:: finding the lessons in last year's mishaps


:: ready to change


:: determined to find a bit of happiness in blogging and photography again